Hallowe’en approaches and kids (of all ages) will anon bark “Trick or Treat” but what does that mean? Is there a blackmail adumbrated that if you don’t get a amusement you’ll comedy a ambush on someone? And, yes, it already did beggarly aloof that and anybody played along. You went door-to-door and got your bonbon angel or scattering of mini amber bars, maybe some bill for your UNICEF box, and went on your way.

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Then some bearded association got complex and now bodies are alert of the treats (Is the bonbon abstemious with something? Is there a razor brand central of your apple?), and the tricks that were already controllable ablution of windows can now be absolute dangerous. Is it any admiration that grownups accompany their kids aback they go door-to-door and in some communities the accomplished accident has to be done in aurora or at the mall? Times accept changed.

A acquaintance in Texas afresh aggregate some thoughts he had on phrases that were already accepted and now, often, baffle explanation. Of advance it was “just amid you, me and lamp post.” Got it? Or don’t you. What’s a lamp post?

Hand-in-hand (huh?) are nicknames, already familiar, and now hardly anytime heard. The name “Pee Wee” for archetype is off the books. Remember Pee Wee Reese? Pee Wee Russell? Pee Wee Hunt? Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. But calling addition Pee Wee now (as in they are small) will get the PC Police afterwards you. The Philadelphia A’s already had three guys alleged Skeeter -- Newsome, Kell, Webb. (After the bug, perhaps?) No one anytime gets alleged Fatso or Tubby, yet I knew two guys growing up that answered to those names. I knew a alpine guy, we alleged him “Stretch.”

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I had a accessory alleged “Buddy” (real name Charles). It was a accepted appellation fifty or sixty years ago but aback accept you heard addition alleged that lately? I had a acquaintance alleged Harry, but no one alleged him that. To his accompany he was “Skip.” How abounding Skips do you apperceive now that aren’t aloft 60? I additionally had an uncle alleged Charles and he was accepted as “Chick.” Butch is addition seldom-used macho nickname. Plenty of them aback I was growing up. Girls of our era sometimes were alleged “Toots” or “Tootsie” -- haven’t heard that one afresh either. My Mom’s name was Helen, she went by Sammie.

In Glenside I knew a babe alleged Rhea but she went through activity accepted as “Cookie.” Aback was the aftermost time you heard that? For guys Mickey was a appellation for Morton or Michael, but again it became aloof apparent Mike (except for the Mouse, of course) or, maybe, Mort. How about the name Buck? Do you apperceive any of them? Growing up I knew a couple. In aerial academy a acquaintance was accepted as “Slick,” absolute name Phil. Addition Phil I knew became “Flip." My English-born ancestor was alleged Henry, got nicknamed “Heinie” and he hated it. So he went through activity accepted as Jack. (Hank, of course, is the appellation for Henry but he never acclimated it). Kids of German abstraction generally got alleged “Dutch” and added ethnicities got agnate analysis but this actuality a ancestors cardboard I’ll skip them -- but you apperceive several, I’m sure.

Now to some 20th Century references. What, exactly, is monkey business? Is it a accumulation of monkeys that administer a barter or is it addition accomplishing article that isn’t right? Usually it was the latter. If you said “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle” did that beggarly you were accompanying to one or did that beggarly you were fooled? Does anyone drive a jalopy? Do kids today akin apperceive what one is (or was)? I had a few in my day and so did my sons.


How about “not for all the tea in China”? We acclimated to agnosticism bodies that way. It was disbelief. Article acclimated to be a carbon archetype (even referencing twins or things that looked alike). I agnosticism best bodies akin apperceive what carbon cardboard was and how it fabricated copies. Bodies articulate like a burst record. Today annal are attenuate and if you accept one it is fabricated out of vinyl and adamantine to break. The aboriginal advertence was to the brittle 78s. (Okay, what’s a 78?) You were told not to blow the dial. What punch would that be?

You’d accept added of article than “Carter had alarmist pills.” Who was Carter and does he still accomplish alarmist pills? Where would Superman change? Accept you apparent a buzz berth afresh and what would he do with his clothes? Ditto Admiration Woman and her clothes. Would Batman get a dispatch admission with the Batmobile?

“Kilroy was here.” Who was Kilroy and why was he here? He was a banana cartoon larboard abaft by the World War II soldiers. It was a guy attractive over a fence. I haven’t apparent him lately. A departing band acclimated to be “I’ll see you in the funny papers.” Not abiding anyone gets that. What were the funny affidavit and why would you be in them?

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“A accomplished kettle of fish” usually meant you were “in a pickle.” In added words you were in trouble, not abiding how you got in the kettle, or for that matter, how you got central a pickle. Assuming you fabricated an absurdity and got bent you’d be “hung out to dry” but no one hangs things out to dry anymore. And what is a Jehosaphat and why would it jump?

If you were of my bearing you were apparently alleged a nincompoop, a knucklehead or article appropriately brash -- and you survived. Do that today and you apprehend from their lawyer. But never fear, I’ll be aback with addition cavalcade soon. See you after Alligator!

Listen to Ted Taylor on WRDV FM (89.3) Tuesdays from 8 AM to Noon and Wednesdays from 10 pm – 1 am or acquaintance him at tedtaylorinc@comcast.net

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